Curves

A quick note before the piece. This piece was inspired by a wonderful conversation from some lovely ladies about health, weight, and curvyness. I'm all about being the healthiest person you can be but also glorying in a body that has done so much and has so much strength regardless of its shape. Thank you for the inspiration!!! Oh, this will be posted as a picture because the formatting is important and I'm not sure it will come through as a copy and paste. So below, "Curves"

It's all about the wordplay...

Looking around and finding happiness in the small things. Trying to get everything my head knows down to my heart and slowly getting a lighter load. Things still hit me at the times of stress and exhaustion but they are fewer. Got a lovely tattoo this past weekend and let the sting and the pain be physical incarnations of emotional hurt. And now it becomes something beautiful and strong, a permanent reminder that I can survive and find strength and grace despite it all. Ok, enough rambling, off to poetry! The following piece was started a few weeks ago, but I didn't finish it until a couple of days ago. I think the emotion of the piece might have gotten a little lost in the wordplay but that made it fun for me and took my mind from a dark spiral to a playful place. So many cliches have been said to me lately that what came out when I wrote this was cliche city! So, perhaps not lyrical gold, but fun wordplay though dark fun to be sure. Can you catch all the sayings?

Internal Letters


Dear Heart,

Head here.
Wtf?
He's just not;
not the guy,
not of dreams,
not that in.
To you, I know,
it's hard to breath.
Drawn pictures; tears
for torn apart
promises.
Broken pie crusts
spilled,
pain milking emotions.
Don't cry. Over
time we're better.
Off we'll ride,
no sunset horizon,
but through the darkest.
Just blink before.
Embrace
fresh dawn.

Luv,
Head


Dear Head,

Heart here.
I know. You're right.
But as leaves must,
I had to fall.
On deaf ears 
your rationale
could not turn.
A blind eye is love,
sees beauty in only
a touch of skin. Deep
kisses should
tell truth, instead
singing lies.
In the rain tears
are invisible.
Yes, Head, I know.
Hide pain. Seek
strength. In
numbering days 
will wounds heal.
It's just all time,
'till the message
comes through.

Love,
Heart

Degrees of separation

Found out this week that one of my girlfriends I love best is moving to Seattle. It will be a grand adventure for her and I'm so happy for her, but I will miss her like crazy. It also seems I can't escape the Seattle connections even when I try. Which brings me to my current state. How do you put someone out of your mind and heart when everything seems tailor made to remind you of them. I'm sure it's a matter of skewed perspective and perception. Maybe when you lose after trying your best it always feels wrong, unbalanced, out of sync. Anyways, I started writing and what came out was song lyrics I think. Just need to find a tune to fit. Maybe I'll make an attempt. We'll see. I wish it portrayed me as a stronger woman but perhaps loving intensly, though apparently the wrong person, is a strength somehow. Enough musing, here are the lyrics to (Update! Been messing around with the piece so below are the updated lyrics :)! )

Seattle Rain

The lines of you still linger
Won't grant me brief reprieve
Your scent hangs upon air
The reason I can't breathe

Fingerprints of careless love
Mark my world in colors of you

Chorus
Thoughts of us still haunt me
Heart bound in ghostly chains
You slip through all defenses
Softly as Seattle rain

Even when I kiss him
All I see is your face
My broken heart still bleeding
Ever persistent aches

Fingerprints of careless love
Mark my world in colors of you

Chorus
Thoughts of us still haunt me
Heart bound in ghostly chains
You slip through all defenses
Softly as Seattle rain

When will I escape this love
That binds me tightly to the past
Screaming, pleading even now
Why did u leave? Come back!

Why did u leave? Come back!

Why did you leave?

Don't come back (spoken?)


Fingerprints of careless love
Mark my world in colors of you

(chorus again?)

Wash clear my eyes with tears
Let them erode away the pain
Let time erase you from my heart
Softly as Seattle rain

The Lovers' Prayer

The following is the piece I wrote for my grandparents' 60th wedding anniversary. They are truly amazing people and just as devoted to each other now as they were when they got married. True love is incredibly breathtaking. So this piece has a few lines that are specific to them but I think I could easily generalize it without too much trouble. :) I was asked to read it in front of the whole family and friends crew at the anniversary party. I was shaking like a leaf because this whole sharing my writing with other people is new to me and somewhat terrifying but I was told my voice was steady enough. :) Anyways, they loved it and that is all that matters. :) (of course they are properly biased in my favor!) Without further ado...


The Lovers' Prayer

As I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the lord my love to keep.
Let it shine from soul to eyes,
Forever honest, never lied.

Grow it strong in times of trial.
Fade not with the time or miles.
Unshaken come rich or poor.
Increase with children numbered four.

Keep us kind when we must scream.
Bring joy beyond wildest dreams.
Let there be a hand in mine,
Forever partner by my side.

I promise to have and hold
Lovers young through growing old.
Births and deaths, in health and ill,
With you, my love, my life is filled.

Please forgive flaws, humor quirks.
Let "us" be our greatest work.
I could never seek to roam,
For where you are is always home.

I will not ask for more of life
Than only husband to only wife.
Let love stay true, no doubt or fear,
Standing strong past sixty years.

Aftermath

Flew off to see my whole extended family this weekend which meant lots of plane time and lots of time to think and write. Wrote two pieces but one needs a bit more revision before I post though I am very pleased with my cleverness...lol. As for this piece it is again a structured piece but has some lines that just make my mouth happy to say them. Had a bit of what I think is going to be closure last week and I'm hoping all that is left is for time to pass. That said, this piece is about finding bits of happiness creeping into what seemed a bleak and depressing world. Funny how that works, you think you'll never stop crying but then someone makes you laugh, or you find yourself singing along to the radio. Whatever your baseline capacity for happiness is, it seems your body and mind will always steer you back there. And now "Aftermath".

Aftermath

Eyes that wept
Washed crystal clear.
Dark chocolate intensity
Burns away tears.

Shoulders long heavy
By Heart's gravity increased,
Thrown open to pride,
Confidence their new lease.

Smiles empty of joy,
Mockeries of mirth,
Find spontaneous spark,
A happy rebirth.

Faltering strides,
Steps leadened with pain,
Surprised into dance.
Bright sun follows rain.

Sorrow muted voice
Unable to sing,
Bursts forth as lipped flood,
Unconscious warbling.

Heart well convinced
Of wound impossible deep,
Sees daily regrowth,
Steel tempered but sweet.

Body without breath,
Gasping at straws,
Breaks through to the surface,
Launched skyward at dawn.

Naught is forever.
Rough wears to smooth.
Survive by endurance.
You've mountains to move.