Love songs

So I've been debating posting this song for several weeks now. And with this posting I think I will comment more fully than I have previously and then close a chapter of my life. I was unsure about this posting not because the piece is bad. Actually, I quite like it and can already hear the tune to the chorus. I was unsure because it was quite pointed and the most focused towards a single person, using bits and pieces from our relationship that were direct comments between us. (Predominantly, that he'd never been able to write a love song, the inspiration for the piece) And that person may see it as an attack. And I guess it is in a small way, but not offensive, defensive, fighting back to reclaim myself. But I had to post it, because this is what I was feeling, honest, raw, and yes, angry and hurt. Writing this and "Phoenix" were an exorcism of some serious pain that I'm not sure I was suppressing or just wishing I was better then. But when I feel disrespected and lied too, I get angry. I hate it. I'd rather have a miserable truth ten million times over the most well intentioned lie. Because, when trust is broken between two people, it doesn't matter what the lies are, what matters is that the lies happened. Oh the flip side, I do finally see that this breakup had nothing to do with me, and everything to do with him and his damage. I watch him returning to the same old patterns and realize that he doesn't want a real deep connection, one that requires sacrifice, work, and great patience,but gives great payoff, but passing flings in the guise of gf/bf. And I ignored all the warning signs because I was in love and blind and so willing to believe in the best of him. And I was wrong. I don't like being wrong and I feel played for the fool. And yes, there is still a lot of pain there, but there is also closure. There was really only one way for this to end. I miss the best of him because in the start that is what he showed me. I see now that it was a facade, and facades never hold. And the vindictive prideful part of me hopes someday he regrets throwing me away with all his being. It is unlikely though so with this piece, I'm letting this sh*t go. Not saying I'll never write another song or poem on heartbreak, but this is the last one in regards to him. Time to look towards the future. Phoenix hope. (That is so going to be my new secret internal cheerleader phrase!) Enjoy and maybe someday I'll finish this (is definitely needs a little more work) into a full song with a tune and everything!


"Love Songs"

Rockstar, big city lights,
Playing the crowd,
Owning the night.

When I met you,
Dark eyes in the sea,
You reached out your hand,
Reaching for me...

I believed your lies, every word spoken.
Now I see you true, you're the one who's broken.

Can't write love songs
If you've never fallen.
Can't score the notes
Without feeling the tune.
Can't write love songs
When you lie to yourself,
And without love
Say goodbye to your muse.

Rockstar, high on my drug,
The music flowed free,
Soaring above.

With a pretty phrase,
I came to your call.
I gave you my heart.
You held me enthralled.

I believed your lies, every word spoken.
Now I see you true, you're the one who's broken.

Can't write love songs
If you've never fallen.
Can't score the notes
Without feeling the tune.
Can't write love songs
When you lie to yourself,
And without love
Say goodbye to your muse.

She caught your eye and you threw me away,
But since I've been gone, no songs can you play.
Your love is a myth, a story, no more.
And your muse knew the truth,
So she walked out the door.

Can't write love songs
If you've never fallen.
Can't score the notes
Without feeling the tune.
Can't write love songs
When you lie to yourself,
And without love
Say goodbye to your muse.

Can't write love songs
If you've never fallen.
Can't score the notes
Without feeling the tune.
Can't write love songs
When you lie to yourself,
And without love
Say goodbye to your muse.

And without me,
Show's over. You lose.