Cinderella

I can take no credit for this piece. It wrote itself. A beautiful flow. Inspired by some lovely piano music. But I guess I'm running with themes of rebirth these days. Not much else to say about it. Just happy with it. :D

"Cinderella"

Dance.
Spin me round the room,
Arms strong and you,
Smiling in my eyes.

Dance.
Never let me fall.
Body heeds the call,
Melding she to you.

But as the music twists and turns,
Moving past the steps we learned,
Will we falter? Will we improvise?

Winding circles in the night,
Pretending there is no daylight.
When midnight chimes who is at my side?

Dance.
Feet above the floor,
Te amo mi amor.
Moments last a day.

Dance.
Only you and me,
Song has set us free.
They'll never catch us now.

But dawn it comes without reprieve,
And songs will stop eventually.
You'll kiss my lips and slowly walk away.

And I'll be left in tattered dress,
Crumpled rose in all the mess.
The dance was fire and so I burned to ash.

(music break?)

Left alone in crowded ball,
I turn and run down empty halls,
Losing shoes, tumbling at his feet.

Dance.
Gently take my hand.
Remind me I can stand.
Spin me round the room.

Choose your own adventure...

Finally I had some time to write!!! Still working on songs. I'm diggin' having a more focused format and finding a voice in lyrics. Though I won't leave my poetry completely, expect some more of that in a week or so. :) I'm fairly pleased with how this piece turned out though it fought me hard. I had the chorus written really fast went through a bunch of iterations and rhyme schemes for the stanzas. Sometimes things flow easy and sometimes you really have to work for the words. I think I really needed to sit down and focus on it. I guess writing all the crappy words allowed me to find the right ones. I loved the "Choose Your Own Adventure" books when I was little and I would always bookmark the "choice" points and if I didn't like the way the path i chose ended up, I would go back and choose another path. And those books were funny because almost every path but one led to a tiger pit or some other horrible death. So how do you pick the right path and how do you know you're on the right one? So that's the inspiration and here is my piece!

"Choose"

Fortune teller read my deck.
Highest joy or epic wreck,
Turn cards to give my fate,
'Cause I don't want to wait. 

Don't need details or master plan.
Just tell me when to play my hand.
What are the moves I'll dance
To strike iron hot on chance?

But if I knew the ending, be it bitter and/or sweet,
Would I still fight battle fierce or hope through certain defeat?

I'll choose my own adventure,
Walk firmly down my path,
But on this journey, no bookmarks, 
No stops and let's go back.
So I march on through twists and turns,
No golden thread to guide,
Mazed and crazed by life's labyrinth, 
Clear voice despite blind eyes.

Which decision turns the page:
Jump left, steer right, abandon, save?
Which is the crucial choice?
What's signal over noise?

What if I ran? What if I stood?
Did what I can not what I should?
Missed love along the way.
Please will I be ok?

But if I knew the ending, be it bitter and/or sweet,
Would I still fight battle fierce or hope through certain defeat?

I'll choose my own adventure,
Walk firmly down my path,
But on this journey, no bookmarks,
No stops, and let's go back.
So I march on through twists and turns,
No golden thread to guide,
Mazed and crazed by life's labyrinth,
Clear voice despite blind eyes.

I'll write my book, can't skip ahead, each chapter in its time.
Won't check the last one for my name to see if I survive.
For every life's a story, though our endings all the same,
Our steps scripting black on white, but grey is human state.
No, I won't ask for answers, take bitter with the sweet,
Fight battle fierce through all the storms and hope long past defeats.

(X2?)
I'll choose my own adventure,
Walk firmly down my path,
But on this journey, no bookmarks, 
No stops and let's go back.
So I march on through twists and turns,
No golden thread to guide,
Mazed and crazed by life's labyrinth, 
Clear voice despite blind eyes.  

Love songs

So I've been debating posting this song for several weeks now. And with this posting I think I will comment more fully than I have previously and then close a chapter of my life. I was unsure about this posting not because the piece is bad. Actually, I quite like it and can already hear the tune to the chorus. I was unsure because it was quite pointed and the most focused towards a single person, using bits and pieces from our relationship that were direct comments between us. (Predominantly, that he'd never been able to write a love song, the inspiration for the piece) And that person may see it as an attack. And I guess it is in a small way, but not offensive, defensive, fighting back to reclaim myself. But I had to post it, because this is what I was feeling, honest, raw, and yes, angry and hurt. Writing this and "Phoenix" were an exorcism of some serious pain that I'm not sure I was suppressing or just wishing I was better then. But when I feel disrespected and lied too, I get angry. I hate it. I'd rather have a miserable truth ten million times over the most well intentioned lie. Because, when trust is broken between two people, it doesn't matter what the lies are, what matters is that the lies happened. Oh the flip side, I do finally see that this breakup had nothing to do with me, and everything to do with him and his damage. I watch him returning to the same old patterns and realize that he doesn't want a real deep connection, one that requires sacrifice, work, and great patience,but gives great payoff, but passing flings in the guise of gf/bf. And I ignored all the warning signs because I was in love and blind and so willing to believe in the best of him. And I was wrong. I don't like being wrong and I feel played for the fool. And yes, there is still a lot of pain there, but there is also closure. There was really only one way for this to end. I miss the best of him because in the start that is what he showed me. I see now that it was a facade, and facades never hold. And the vindictive prideful part of me hopes someday he regrets throwing me away with all his being. It is unlikely though so with this piece, I'm letting this sh*t go. Not saying I'll never write another song or poem on heartbreak, but this is the last one in regards to him. Time to look towards the future. Phoenix hope. (That is so going to be my new secret internal cheerleader phrase!) Enjoy and maybe someday I'll finish this (is definitely needs a little more work) into a full song with a tune and everything!


"Love Songs"

Rockstar, big city lights,
Playing the crowd,
Owning the night.

When I met you,
Dark eyes in the sea,
You reached out your hand,
Reaching for me...

I believed your lies, every word spoken.
Now I see you true, you're the one who's broken.

Can't write love songs
If you've never fallen.
Can't score the notes
Without feeling the tune.
Can't write love songs
When you lie to yourself,
And without love
Say goodbye to your muse.

Rockstar, high on my drug,
The music flowed free,
Soaring above.

With a pretty phrase,
I came to your call.
I gave you my heart.
You held me enthralled.

I believed your lies, every word spoken.
Now I see you true, you're the one who's broken.

Can't write love songs
If you've never fallen.
Can't score the notes
Without feeling the tune.
Can't write love songs
When you lie to yourself,
And without love
Say goodbye to your muse.

She caught your eye and you threw me away,
But since I've been gone, no songs can you play.
Your love is a myth, a story, no more.
And your muse knew the truth,
So she walked out the door.

Can't write love songs
If you've never fallen.
Can't score the notes
Without feeling the tune.
Can't write love songs
When you lie to yourself,
And without love
Say goodbye to your muse.

Can't write love songs
If you've never fallen.
Can't score the notes
Without feeling the tune.
Can't write love songs
When you lie to yourself,
And without love
Say goodbye to your muse.

And without me,
Show's over. You lose.

Phoenix Hope

Aaack, I've looked at the piece for too long, the words begin to feel contrived as if I've lost the inspiration. But i think that just means I need to send it out into the aether. Let is breathe a bit. I don't know if this is a song or a poem, but it's, it's, well, it's the inner fight I haven't expressed. So much has happened lately to bring back out all I was suppressing. This is a very structured piece though not perfect in rhyme or meter, a bit more organic with just a touch of chaos. Enjoy. :)

Phoenix
Sucker punch I never saw,
No time to slip the hit.
At loss for air, you knock me down.
No thoughts, just pain, that’s it.

Layed out in dirt, muddied tears,
Bloodied heart in hands.
My eyes to you, dark with rage,
As I struggled to feet, to stand.

I will fall and I will rise up to fall once more.
Phoenix hope in ashen coat, ready for next tour.
Walls I built to protect, I’ll crumble with a phrase,
For there is strength in letting go, to risk can be to save.

Blackened orbs smoldering,
Windows to shattered soul,
But head held high, stubborn pride,
Taking back all that you stole.

Though I am left here bleeding
With all the blows you gave,
It's you who are the broken
For all you seem unscathed.

I will fall and I will rise up to fall once more.
Phoenix hope in ashen coat, ready for next tour.
Walls I built to protect, I’ll crumble with a phrase,
For there is strength in letting go, to risk can be to save.

Scarred by passion unreturned,
I'll take another chance,
Step back into the fiery ring.
Sound the bell, I'll dare to dance.

For I can love with open heart,
Whisper truth in lover's ear.
And you'll stay wrapped in web of lies
Trapped by all your fears.

I will fall and I will rise up to fall once more.
Phoenix hope in ashen coat, ready for next tour.
Walls I built to protect, I’ll crumble with a phrase,
For there is strength in letting go, to risk can be to save.

Claim victory and throw parades.
Kiss girls in every street.
False heart on sleeve, but no reprieve
From reflection, your self-deceit.

I will fall and I will rise up to fall once more.
Phoenix hope in ashen coat, ready for next tour.
Walls I built to protect, I’ll crumble with a phrase,
For there is strength in letting go, to risk can be to save.

I will fall just to rise up into the sun.
Purified by storm survived, I'm the one's whose won.

Predator

So a couple of weeks ago, I got attacked by a large man on my way home from the BART station. He went for my phone, which was in my hand, and my bag on my shoulder. We fought in what was the scariest two minutes of my life. He managed to rip my phone from my hand but I held onto my bag and fought long enough that a passing cop heard my screaming and flipped on his lights to come check it out. The attacker then ran off and jumped into his buddy's waiting car and took off. I came out with only bruises and scrapes and my bag, though my phone was long gone. I was very lucky he didn't have a weapon and that that cop came by. It was the most alone I have ever felt in my life. But people who attack other people are no longer people in my eyes but predators, and he thought of me as prey, not a person with friends and family. So, in that two minutes, it was war and I felt like i was fighting for my life. All these emotions led to me telling my story as the following piece: Predator. This one should be read aloud for sure.

Predator
Dark predator lie in wait
Perusing potential prey,
Eyeing groups, gauging strength,
Look for loners, solo souls.
No one to hear them scream.
Evil smile with gold grillz gleam.

Watch her walk. She'll never guess
The target on her back.
Pick the moment for approach
Then leap to the attack.

Eyes wide, stunned as bad dream
Becomes hideous reality.
For a second it seems 
She'll go quiet into that good night,
But with feral cry,
The she-cat erupts wild;
Claws and teeth and feet and fight!
Tiger fire burning bright.

Knock her down, bruise and scrape,
She won't quit, her life at stake.
Then sirens' blare and flashing lights
Sends monster fleeing out of sight. 

She fought long enough,
Not to lose if she could not win.
Call it a draw. He'll hunt again,
Inhuman predator, a bogeyman.

But prey will also have her way;
She, her own heroine, saving her day. 

Icarus

I know this blog was supposed to be all poetry, but it seems Ive just written another song. Whoops! :) Of course I'm pretty sure it is doomed to be just lyrics with no tune as I have not tune smithy learnings or the powerful songbird voice needed to make this into a proper song. Ah well, c'est la vie. This one is still a little more "work in progress" than I usually post but I need to get it up and away for a bit to see if it has legs. The song/piece came about from a random Facebook status update I posted that I couldn't get out of my head combined with a little science inspiration from the high resolution microscopy I do. (yeah, nerdy I know.) :) So there will probably be edits to this piece coming but for now here is (with working title) "Icarus":

Icarus
I soared too high on waxen wings
Combed by honeyed words.
Lust’s supernova melted them
And I tumbled down to earth.
No broken bones but broken heart,
My soul so badly bruised.
Scattered feathers in the dark,
Shattered beyond use.

(Chorus)
I’m not yet through the darkness
But the stars are shining bright,
And each day I survive without you
Adds a spot of light.
Time stacks it all together
Until a picture forms,
And what I thought was black night
Is revealed as pinking dawn.

I crawled out of the wreckage
Surprised my legs could stand.
And so I set to walking
Away from false made hands.
Naked in the moonlight,
Your lies all seared away.
I let the pain wash over me,
Turned east, new sun, new day.

(Chorus)
I’m not yet through the darkness
But the stars are shining bright,
And each day I survive without you
Adds a spot of light.
Time stacks it all together
Until a picture forms,
And what I thought was black night
Is revealed as pinking dawn.

Build not wings with fantasies,
Speeches without the deeds.
Fly not on his promises,
Warnings I wouldn’t heed.
So close I flew and burned I did,
Scarred but I survive.
Never same, forever changed,
And running to new life.

(Chorus)
I’m not yet through the darkness
But the stars are shining bright,
And each day I survive without you
Adds a spot of light.
Time stacks it all together
Until a picture forms,
And what I thought was black night
Is revealed as pinking dawn.

I am a creature of the earth,
I should not dare the sky.
Quick Lust may call me to the sun,
But Love grounds with stronger ties.

A challenge

So I run and participate in a monthly creative challenge. This month's bonus challenge was to use a song for inspiration. I chose "Blinding" by Florence and the Machine and wrote a piece playing off one the lyrics in the song. This is perhaps not one of my better pieces as the emotion got pretty lost in the structure and the wordplay. It's a little too repetitive I think. But, it did loosen up the juices and get me cookin' on a piece that I'm really happy with (not finished yet, but posted soon). So sometimes things like this are good if only to prime the pump. :)

And so: "No More" (Formatted as a jpeg for posting on the challenge, I'm just too lazy today to change it at all.)